Censored Hill
by The Real Luigi
Summary: [Fic contains huge spoilers]Well I was bored, so why shouldn't do a Silent Hill 3 parody?


Poo Hill  
  
Thanks for the author of Quiet Hill, he gave me lot's of inspiration   
  
to make this fic.  
  
We see Heather in an Amusement Park, she sees that she has a knife in her hand.  
  
Heather: What's this? And where the heck I am?!   
  
Checking her new weapon, Heather uses it in her throat to see the damage, not so   
  
smart if you ask me.  
  
SLASH!  
  
Cut to a mall, Heather,a 17 years old teenager fell asleep in one of the tables in a cafe.   
  
She wakes up.  
  
Heather: Ugh...what a nightmare...but is hard to belive I was acting more stupid than   
  
normal, cutting my throat with my pocket knife? Why should I do something so stupid?  
  
Narrator: Because you are stupid?  
  
Heather: Oh yeah! Wait, who said that? Anyways I must go.  
  
Anyways after that stupid waste of space in a fic, Heather leaves the cafe. She goes   
  
directly to a totally broken payphone, it's weird since the other 4 in the same area are   
  
in mint condition. Anyways Heather inserts the coin in the phone(DUH!) and calls her   
  
dad.   
  
Something weird is that insteantead of the "beep" the phone makes it had a "burp"   
  
sound. Anyways after a few seconds Heather's dad answered the phone.  
  
Heather: Dad, it's me. Sorry if I didn't call sooner, I fell asleep. Uh, no sorry, I didn't   
  
found the thing you wanted, sorry. Im going home now. Yeah I love you too dad.  
  
With that she hangs up the phone. A middle age man steps out. Heather sees him and   
  
walks away.  
  
Detective: Heather, I need to speak with you. My name's Douglas Cartland, I am a   
  
detective.  
  
Heather: A detective? Are you the one from Dic Tracy?!  
  
Douglas: No, I am not, anyways, I want to talk with you. It's about your past.  
  
Heather: You aren't the Dic Tracy guy? Oh well, anyways I am not interested.  
  
She walks away. Douglas follows her. Heather turns around to face him.  
  
Heather: Can you please stop? It's not funny.  
  
Douglas: I just want to talk with you, Heather.  
  
Heather: My daddy told me not to talk with strangers.  
  
Take note that what Heather said was irrationally stupid. I mean she was actually   
  
talking with Douglas before.Anyways(how many times I said anyways? Ten times?)   
  
after Heather says that she walks into the women bathroom.  
  
Heather: That sicko...maybe I can find another exit.  
  
She checks one of the toilets and "tries to escape" but fails, wasn't that obvious?   
  
Since that plan failed she checks the window in the bathroom, Heather notices its   
  
opned, she climbs it up, now outside the mall, Heather is in an alley, she walks   
  
towards and finds a van blocking her way.  
  
Heather: Who's stupid enough to park a van here? I'll have to find another way.  
  
After 20 minutes of thinking and hitting her head against the walls Heather finds a   
  
door, that surprisingly enough was 2 cm near her the whole time.She opens it.  
  
Inside she finds a large hallway with various doors. After finding that the 99.9% of them   
  
has the lock broken she tries the last one in the hallway that is the only that is   
  
unlocked.  
  
Heather now finds herself in another part of the mall, seeing that the clothes store it's   
  
the only one opned she opens it.  
  
Inside she finds something evil...evil...EVIL! A monster is eating a dead human, the   
  
worst thing: The monster is Barney! The purple dinosaur! With that Barney sees her   
  
and starts walking towards her.Heather nervous like she's going insane looks around,   
  
she finds a handgun in the ground. She grabs it.  
  
Heather: Get back Barney! Y-y-ou always gave me nightmares when I was a kid! G-get   
  
back!   
  
Since Barney keeps coming towards her she just fires at it seven bullets, surprisingly   
  
enough since her father was a disaster aiming, she never hits Barney, but lookily   
  
enough one of the bullets zigs zag in the walls in hits Barney in the head. Heather   
  
goes to check the now dead barney.  
  
Heather: Is this a...monster? It can be... It-it must be...some killer in a costume! Yeah!  
  
She tries getting the monster "Barney" "costume" off. The only thing she gets its   
  
removing Barney head.  
  
Heather: This is no killer. This is actually a monster! But why...is this happening to me?   
  
I think I should take this handgun with me.  
  
She leaves the clothes store using a door near hidden near where the cash register is.   
  
And since she's an idiot she tries leaving without opening the door just to get a bang in   
  
her head. Hey forgive her, she's blonde after all. Thinking about her stupidity she   
  
opens the door correctly and leaves the store.  
  
The other room is a huge hallways, she takes the left part of the hallway since I am the   
  
one writing this fic. She opens the door.  
  
Heather: What the...more Barney's?!  
  
Yep, Heather more Barnyes, anyways did I say that talking to yourself its the first sign   
  
of madness? What's next? Finishing your adventure and kill Douglas in the posessed   
  
ending?Continuing with the story.Heather enters in the mall second floor, how did she   
  
get up there? It's a mystery. Anyways, Heather tries every door. Unfortunately the   
  
99.9% have the locks broken.   
  
Heather: Im in the broken locks hell!  
  
She suddenly notices a Barney coming towards her. She fires at it but she figures she   
  
ran out of bullets while killing the last Barney. Barney slashes her with one of it's poo   
  
claws making her loss some important blood and some of her memory.  
  
Heather: Oh fuck! That hurts.  
  
Her only way was running, she ran as fast as she can, she found an unlocked   
  
store.She opned the door and enters.  
  
She now was in a bakery. She found a tong in a chair, wanted to be picked up by   
  
some stupid useless soul. Heather picked it up. Inside the store she found a pack of 10   
  
handgun bullets.  
  
Heather: Yes! Anyways what's a pack of handgun bullets doing in a bakery? Maybe   
  
the bread is made of...nah it can't be.  
  
She exits from the bakery. Now back in the second floor with her new found bullets she   
  
reloads her gun and beats the crap of the Barney.  
  
Heather: Yes! Feel the pain Barney!  
  
While Heather was enjoying herself using the handgun as the source of enjoyment.   
  
She went to the huge hallways she had been a while. There she just walked towards to   
  
find that the 100% of the doors had the lock broken.  
  
Heather: That's new I never found a door with a broken lock.  
  
Obviously Heather's memory was a little damaged thanks to that Barney with poo   
  
claws. Jesus being so nice, opened 2 doors for Heather. Heather opened the first one.   
  
She was now in a small room, inside it there was Mario, yeah the Nintendo guy, he   
  
was walking in four legs like a dog, he was eating something that looked like rotten   
  
meat.  
  
Heather saw the monster was busy eating the meat. She carefully sent two bullet in it's   
  
head. Unfortunately one of the bullets missed and the other hit Mario in the balls.  
  
Mario: Luige le' beste!   
  
Appart from the new monster there was nothing new in the room. Heather went out of   
  
it.  
  
Opening the other door she found herself in some storage room type thingy. She found   
  
2 packs of handgun bullets and 1 health drink. Also near there was a pallet and   
  
underneath it there was a key. Heather tried using her hands but she coudn't reach it.  
  
Heather: Darn now I can get the key. But...what about the tongs?  
  
She tried her new and twisted plan, she used the tongs to get the key, succes! She   
  
now had the key.Heather found that it had a label that said "Book Store key"  
  
Heather: I don't know why but I think I should go to the book store. But where's it.  
  
The she remembered the Book Store in the second floor hall, near the bakery. She   
  
went there and opned the book store.Exploring it she found two Shakespear. Near   
  
them she found the other two She put them in order from tome one to tome 4, after   
  
that she saw that the book in order left an code number. Continuing her adventure,   
  
Heather found a door in the book store, it had a keypad on it. Heather tough of the   
  
code...why not trying the one in the books? She entered that combination, the door   
  
was unlocked insantly, she opened it...  
  
She was in a hallway, in the other side there was a woman.  
  
Heather: Who are you?  
  
Woman: My name's Claudia and...  
  
Heather: And why the hell are you here?  
  
Claudia: Heather, you must remember your true self.  
  
Heather: True self?! What are you talking about?!  
  
Claudia: Just try to remember, your past.  
  
Heather: My past?  
  
Heather started to feel an headache.  
  
Claudia: You are door to the paradise, Alessa.  
  
Heather: Alessa...?Wha...  
  
Heather passes out.  
  
When she wakes up she's in the same hallway, and Claudia's gone.  
  
Heather: Darn it, im alone, again, how much will this nightmare last? Barney's, Super   
  
Mario's...  
  
She soon found that all of the hallway doors had the lock broken.She then tries the   
  
elevator. It worked. She entered in it. After a while the elevator stoped and a radio fell   
  
from the top of it. She picked it up.  
  
Heather: It's emiting weird static, but I think I should keep it anyways...  
  
Just when she got it the elevator door opened...she entered on the other area. Ready   
  
for a thrilling ride... 


End file.
